The first step to helping a highfunctioning alcoholic is to stop denying that they need help. Functional alcoholics are described as individuals who lead successful lives, yet suffer from effects of alcoholism. Living with an alcoholic how to cope with an alcoholic. Its mindblowing that they can continue to avoid the issue. Oct 24, 2017 he reminds me so much of jack pearson from this is us, a genuine guy with a genuinely good heart but, also like jack pearson, my husband is an alcoholic. A highfunctioning alcoholic is someone who habitually drinks an unhealthy amount of alcohol while maintaining some level of professional.
Highfunctioning alcoholics often hide the severity of their abuse from friends and loved ones. A highfunctioning alcoholic hfa is a person who maintains jobs and relationships while exhibiting alcoholism statistics from the harvard school of public health indicated that 31 percent of college students show signs of alcohol abuse and 6 percent are dependent on alcohol. This class of addicts shows up at work, theyre involved in the community, they uphold their obligations, and they may even be your pastor or a respected leader in the church. It takes a toll on the person that many will never know about. Many highfunctioning alcoholics will deny their struggle with alcohol addiction. Jan 14, 2020 denial is a characteristic distortion in thinking experienced by people with alcoholism. Alcoholics especially high functioning alcoholics use standard alcoholic excuses and denials to justify their addiction and avoid reality. Highfunctioning alcoholics and relationships tips for. Denial is an intrinsic part of any addiction, but its an especially central feature of the highfunctioning alcoholic. Highfunctioning alcoholics can live in denial forever.
These stereotypes increase denial and prevent many alcoholics from getting proper diagnosis and treatment. The actions arent easy to take, but they are certainly important. In the book understanding the highfunctioning alcoholic, the author viewed the research and used some of the findings to develop a socalled profile of a functional alcoholic. This type of drinker is known as a functional alcoholic, highfunctioning alcoholic, or currentlyfunctioning alcoholic, since its not likely that youll remain functional nor misuse alcohol forev. Jun 06, 2019 we find that nearly 20 percent of alcoholics are highly functional and welleducated with good incomes. Drawing on the experience of highfunctioning alcoholics, including her own experiences, this book is both instructive and inspiring. Functioning alcoholic living with a functioning alcoholic. Mar 10, 2020 what the spouse of an alcoholic can do to help.
A functional alcoholic might not act the way you would expect him to act, benton says. Holding your loved one responsible for his own actions and the consequences could help reduce the strength of his denial for the fact that he is an alcoholic. Understanding the highfunctioning alcoholic excerpt. Functioning alcoholics high functioning alcoholics individuals who struggle with living a normal life as a result of their alcoholism. There may be the temptation to enable, which could mean buying liquor to keep in the house and let the alcohol abuse continue or drinking with the alcoholic spouse to help normalize the behavior. The paperback was published in 2010 by rowman and littlefield publishers. A persons refusal to admit or accept that he or she is an alcoholic. The book evolves over four major periods, as they all describe the four stages of terrys alcoholism and how it progresses through the years of their marriage. Unfortunately, their friends and family may also deny that their loved one struggles with alcohol, enabling the behavior, making excuses, or hiding signs of the problem. How to recognize an alcohol use disorder, and what you can do about it. Characteristics of highfunctioning alcoholics psychology today. You articulated the different ways that alcoholism can progress and what a subtle foe it can be.
Ways to approach the highfunctioning alcoholic in your. Living with a functioning alcoholic husband what are my. They refuse to believe that their loved one has a problem, and even. One of the chief characteristics of addiction is a denial. For decades, people who treat alcoholics, and recovering alcoholics themselves, have puzzled over why. The hazelden betty ford foundation is a force of healing and hope for individuals, families and communities affected by addiction to alcohol and other drugs.
Recognizing a highfunctioning alcoholic isnt difficult if you know what to watch for. Highfunctioning alcoholics might be one of the most dangerous types. One of the most frustrating factors in dealing with alcoholism is it is almost always accompanied by a phenomenon known as deniala refusal to admit the truth or reality of the condition. How to help an alcoholic hazelden betty ford foundation. So, what is a functional alcoholic and what does it really mean. After all, they have managed to maintain the appearance of success in spite of their addiction.
They are often not aware that they are an alcoholic. Functional alcoholics point to their success and stability as proof that they dont have a problem. Sarah bentons book understanding the highfunctioning alcoholic is a gift to both clinicians and clients alike. Simone talks a lot about denial, referring to it as the the hub of the alcoholic wheel and saying that it drives every spoke of the disease. Intervention strategies for a highfunctioning alcoholic.
A highfunctioning alcoholic might hold down a job and have a family despite an underlying struggle with alcohol addiction. Understanding the high functioning alcoholic by sarah allen benton, ms, lmhc my success was the mask that disguised the underlying demon and fed my denial. Denial is one of the more baffling characteristics, not just of alcohol dependency but all addictions in alcoholic denial, the alcoholic will continually state that they do not have a problem with drinking in spite of displaying many or all of the symptoms of an alcoholic. But, growing up with an alcoholic mother, my most common mode of escape as a child was in fiction.
Dealing with the issues of a highfunctioning alcoholic how to deal with the issues of a high functioning alcoholic, including how to identify the warning signs, avoid codependency, and seek support. The person may need an intervention, even an informal one, to fully understand that their health and livelihood is at risk because of their drinking. Revelations of a highfunctioning alcoholic jeff herten on. Living with a functioning alcoholic stop drinking expert. How to help a highfunctioning alcoholic in denial psych central. But these problem drinkers are often in just as much or more danger as any other alcoholic. The foreword of the big book opens with, we, of alcoholics anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women in. Dealing with a functional alcoholic in denial youtube. There are people who meet the criteria for a medical diagnosis for alcohol dependence who are highly functional in society and still have their jobs, homes, and families. Many of these people appear to have pictureperfect lives a steady career, financially sound, nice. As the nations leading nonprofit provider of comprehensive inpatient and outpatient treatment for adults and youth, the foundation has 17 locations nationwide and collaborates with an expansive network throughout health care. Highfunctioning alcoholics can be difficult to recognize. There are certain behaviors that a highfunctioning alcoholic exhibits that are no different from any other type of alcoholic. This book is an indepth exploration of a hidden class of alcoholics.
After all, if you maintain a job, keep up with family responsibilities, enjoy a healthy social life, you cant possibly be an alcoholic. Denial is a common symptom of alcohol use disorder and it can keep the person from seeking treatment. When a functioning alcoholic is drinking, they may even go out of their way to present a normal, more polished version of themselves in order to prevent those around them. Alcoholic drinking behaviors that are hard to ignore. But high functioning alcoholics may be dealing with the greatest amount of denial of all because they are able to function so well in society. Some women may follow the lead of the alcoholic husband in denial, and also pretend that nothing is wrong. Because people who are functional alcoholics are often in denial about their problem or may attempt to hide their problem from others, it is important for loved ones to be vigilant. How to convince a functional alcoholic to attend treatment. A high functioning alcoholic hfa is a person who maintains jobs and relationships while exhibiting alcoholism statistics from the harvard school of public health indicated that 31 percent of college students show signs of alcohol abuse and 6 percent are dependent on alcohol. According to the book substance abuse and the family, individuals who would be classified as functional alcoholics often develop serious issues in their relationships with their spouse, other family members, or friends that may result in them seeking treatment for relationship issues. Heavy alcohol use is heavy alcohol use, regardless of how well a person functions.
Alcoholism is a disease that slowly develops over time, not all at once. When youre in a marriage with a functional alcoholic. What are the consequences of being a high functioning alcoholic. High functioning alcoholics generally hold a job, have families, engage socially with friends and carry on a seemingly routine lifestyle. While everyone may experience this progression differently, there are four common stages people go through when becoming a functional alcoholic. Because a functional alcoholic may keep their substance abuse a secret, they can sustain the problematic behavior for a long time. Also referred to as functional alcoholics, these people usually dont realize that they rely on alcohol to feel normal. Understanding the high functioning alcoholic benton. It is a thorough and insightful discussion of an often misunderstood and mistreated clinical group that frequently does not respond wellto traditional psychotherapy, or psychopharmacology, or simply twelve step approaches. Doctors hope that the new definition will help identify severe cases of alcoholism early, rather than when the. Friends and family members can also become involved in denial. Mar 25, 2020 with denial, a person with alcohol use disorder has impaired insight into their condition. Coworkers, relatives and friends often enable the abusive behavior to continue by.
A functioning alcoholic is a master at hiding how much and when theyre drinking. Family and friends often fail to see the danger signs. With denial, a person with alcohol use disorder has impaired insight into their condition. For those who have not experienced true denial, they may think that it is simply denying that a.
When a person displays symptoms of being a high functioning alcoholic, they will likely be in denial and do what they can to cover up signs that they have a problem. Benton calls them, are in denial about their abuse of alcohol. Functional alcoholics are often in deep denial about their problem. Mental health professional and recovering alcoholic sarah allen benton shares her struggles in this excerpt from understanding the. What is a functional alcoholic and how do you spot one.
Jul 08, 2018 unfortunately, its not only the alcoholic who is in danger of denial. But most highfunctioning alcoholics have friends or loved ones who help them cover up the consequences of their drinking. He could even be a high achiever or in a position of power. Unfortunately, most functional alcoholics live in denial, too ashamed or too proud to admit the truth to themselves or others. Professional views and personal insights, by sarah allen benton, a licensed mental health counselor. There are also the selfhelp books, the aa manuals, the wellmeaning but often dry no pun, and so on tomes to help one acquire clarity and consistency in a life where addiction often creates chaos and disorder. Living with an alcoholic how to cope with an alcoholic spouse. May 05, 2009 sarah allen benton is hardly your stereotypical alcoholic. In the book understanding the high functioning alcoholic, the author viewed the research and used some of the findings to develop a socalled profile of a functional alcoholic. They often have fulltime careers, a sturdy family life, and may not seem like theyre struggling at all. She has a master of science degree from northeastern university and is a licensed mental health counselor at emmanuel college in boston.
They may be in denial about the disorder because they can control their drinking. Sarah bentons book understanding the high functioning alcoholic is a gift to both clinicians and clients alike. It will help a highfunctioning alcoholic face their denial of alcoholism and help family and friends who witness it to better appreciate and understand it. In reality, they have become so adept at feeding their ongoing addiction in secret and then covering up any consequences that most people would think that everything is all right. In many cases, confrontation with an alcoholic simply results in denial and resentment on the part of the alcoholic, as well as frustration on the part of their loved ones. How to confront an alcoholic in denial clean and sober live. High functioning alcoholics are one of five types of alcoholics. Denial is common in both functional alcoholics and their families. They dont experience the typical consequences of alcoholism, such as drunk driving arrests, financial problems or. The fact is, most alcoholics are better suited to handle their life than they and you think, especially when speaking about the functional alcoholism. This is usually the case of a functional alcoholic. Jul 08, 2017 many people that are occasional drinkers would be considered highfunctioning alcoholics. High functioning, but still alcoholics the new york times.
At the end of the day, the only person who can get through an alcoholics denial, is the alcoholic themself. What is a functional alcoholic high functioning alcoholic. Aug 07, 2018 joking about the possibility of being an alcoholic. It takes courage to ask oneself this question, and even more courage to answer it honestly. Highfunctioning alcoholism and the dangers of denial. Maybe the spouse was a high functioning alcoholic, coping with job stresses and consuming large quantities of alcohol at the same time, without appearing to struggle, but they are now beginning to suffer serious consequences as time progresses. Excuses and signs of the highfunctioning alcoholic. What sets high functioning alcoholics apart within the generalized category is their ability to blend into society, doing most of what one without the disease would do. For example, compulsive drinking is a behavior while those with an alcoholic personality are. Six signs that you are a high functioning alcoholic.
Understanding functional alcoholism and the functional alcoholic. In their minds, they rationalize their behavior by its apparent lack of effect on their lives. Drawing on the experience of high functioning alcoholics, including her own experiences, this book is both instructive and inspiring. They minimize, justify, and just flat out deny the problem. Denial is the crux of the issue with being a highfunctioning alcoholic. It will help a high functioning alcoholic face their denial of alcoholism and help family and friends who witness it to better appreciate and understand it. But even if you dont get the alcoholic to recognize their problem immediately, know that your actions, words and support may take them one step closer to recognizing their addiction and seeking help. People who are married to, or in a relationship with, someone struggling with alcohol use disorder may want to start by going to a therapist, social worker, spiritual or religious leader, or friend or family member for emotional support. Denial is a characteristic distortion in thinking experienced by people with alcoholism. If youre the loved one of someone in either group, its important that you know how to deal with an alcoholic effectively, with consideration to their symptoms and lifestyle, if you want to help them get well.
The person may have a steady job, a successful career, a mortgage, a family, and may not even drink every day. Experts in the field of addiction say these categories are more. Often, friends and families may come to the realization that drinking is a problem before the alcoholic does and helping the person come to the same conclusion may take a. Coworkers, relatives and friends often enable the abusive behavior to continue by refusing to acknowledge and confront it. Functional alcoholics dont live up to the typical cliche of someone with a drinking problem. How to deal with the issues of a high functioning alcoholic, including how to identify the warning signs, avoid codependency, and seek support. You will have to get past the denial before you can deal with addiction. Nobody confronts them on it because theyre getting things done in life. As some alcoholics do, he has sought help, and were going on two years with our new, less tumultuous lifestyle. Functioning alcoholic the quiet addiction editor dan schimmel, lcsw, cap. Denial is actually fairly common among all types of alcoholics. Basically, research studies and popular books that classify people as functional alcoholics are making observations based on the stereotypical alcoholic. This is because their behavior may appear to be normal even though they are intoxicated.
Denial is one of the symptoms of the disease of alcoholism that makes recovery so difficult. Also check out the highlyrecommended book, understanding the highfunctioning alcoholic. Feb 04, 2020 dealing with a functional alcoholic in denial is maddening. A functioning alcoholic is someone who manages to maintain a level of productivity, by keeping up with their responsibilities, work, and professional life, while still suffering from an addiction to alcohol. After all, they can stop during the week even though they binge on the weekends. For the high functioning alcoholic, there are certain things they will do to protect their secret. Living in a household where their sober partner takes over all duties keeps the alcoholic in a passive stance. Also check out her blogs on psychology today and her interview and excerpt from the book on. Being able to recognize the signs and admit that a problem does exist may be first step toward recovery. Living with an alcoholic how to handle your alcoholic spouse. Others may be in denial that they have a drinking problem at all. Denial often drives the reluctance to admit there is a problem, offering no protection for the consequences of the disease. Denial it is powerful, dangerous, and one of the psychological symptoms of being alcoholic.
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